Kiasoulisthebest blog
Hello! Welcome. If you are reading this you don’t have epilepsy and made it past my deterrent. This blog is anti epileptic people.
I kid.
This is strange. I have a totally blank slate and I am just putting down words. I think for this blog I’d like for it to be an extension of kiasoulisthebest instagram. But more words with the photos. A picture can tell 1000 words… but thats just an excuse for bad writers.
I want to get better at writing.
I finally deleted Instagram off of my phone (again). WOOO! Although, I do access it from my computer from time to time. Womp. I will never be rid of this plague. This blog is my means to an end.
It’s good though. I am going through a rough time right now. Well, I have been… for a while. I think everyone who knows me knows that. But more hard times are ahead. I will say however, I finally am learning from falling flat on my face… over and over again. I am doing the things I know that are good for me so I don’t sit in my sorrow (such as deleting Instagram).
#exercising and getting them endorphins
And trying to be more present and enjoying my friends. I am focusing on myself right now. Trying to build something? Or just figure out what the fuck I want to do with my life. Idk. In the past 6 months I feel like I have both said and thought so many different paths I want to go. Here is how it’s gone from like August to now:
Marketing strategist at a company?
Wait no. Creative director. Strategists don’t do shit.
(Couple months go by)
Music Marketer
Artist Manager?
Music Photographer?
Sell my soul and work at a bank for the bag
Literally anything in England
Freelance Photographer?
Documentary/Photojournalist/Street Photographer?
Yeah. I mean it all kind of makes sense given what I have been up to and what/who I love. Right now, like literally this instant, I think I want to go back to school for photography. At least, maybe take some classes on the side.
I feel like I’ve been at a plateau. Trying to meld my instinct and my technical abilities. I am super obsessed with street photography right now. The ethics, the work, the people. I think it is so beautiful, and so strange to be totally taking someone’s personal experience on the street, for yourself. There is something to the slice of life that we all witness that I want to make photos of. Trying to figure out how to actually develop the instinct for it, but also the way I can do it and not feel morally wrong. Right now, I want to get better at just talking to people, gaining their consent, and making an honest portrait of them. Although, I also think it’s not possible to do this all of the time. And that is just the grey area. The area where something truly beautiful could be happening and you have a split second to decide if you should take it. Does this sound insane? Yeah. Kind of.
I am going to apply to ICP for their year long certificate in documentary and photojournalism. That has been my current moral workaround to this dilemma. It allows for the fly on the wall perspective, street style, while also covering a story honestly. And of course, having the people’s consent. Thinking about this, I’ve been super into Sara Messinger, Jaclyn Licht, Adam Powell, and Dianne Arbus.
When I was in maybe 7th or 8th grade I wanted to live in NYC. My grandparents have an apartment that my family and I would go up to 3-4 times a year and I would just dream. When I was with my family, I would always try to walk ahead 20 feet or so, so I could feel like I was walking around the city on my own. I thought I was going to be a film maker, and go to school for film in NYC. I was envious and curious as to what it was like being a kid growing up in a big city.
So with all that being said: NYC photographer arc coming… Maybe…
Okay. Not sure what else I want to say. If you read this far, and you know me, send me a picture that you took that you really like. Zero context. Then I’ll know you found this and read it :D
There is no resolution to this post. Things are hard right now. Well, they’re like… okay. But I know it’s only going to get harder. In the end it will be okay though…
Going to do these sporadically so, keep your eyes peeled. Let me know what I could work on. For now, goodbye. I love you.
